Domino Chain World Record Thwarted by Anti Semitic Clown

Bozo has made enemies in the State of Israel

Terrence “Squiggly” McDonough, the perpetrator of the hate crime

Tragedy struck on Wednesday night when the largest domino chain in existence was stopped about halfway through its set-off by a careless clown. The dominoes were laid out across the floor of the Scarsdale Jewish Community Center in a twelve-tier Star of David that rose 15 feet in height and 30 feet in diameter. This would have been the largest Star of David-themed domino chain in history, but the dominoes never completed their mission.

Squiggly the Clown, known more commonly as Terrence McDonough in the greater Scarsdale area, had other plans it seems. McDonough, it seems, had confused Wednesday with Thursday this week, which led him to believe that the Scarsdales JCC would be hosting the Bar Mitzvah of one Tommy Demski, at which he had been booked to perform.

Practically ripping he doors off of their hinges, McDonough burst in and rampaged forward into the building on his hellish unicycle, overturning everything in his path.

“I feared for my life,” said local community member Diana Green, “that clown was completely out of control.”

Tables and chairs were strewn about the community center, until finally, the worst happened. McDonough slammed headlong into the massive domino sculpture, interrupting its chain set-off. This journalist is happy to report that McDonough suffered multiple injuries, including but no limited to 5 broken ribs, a concussion, and a puncture lung.

The Jewish Defense League served the now-bedridden maniac a summons early this evening, to be tried for crimes against the Jewish community.

May he burn in Hell.

The Nimrod is here to give you all the news you never knew you needed